Blog is me....

Christmas shopping hell

2007-12-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

There is a conspiracy afoot. One in which the Christmas holiday keeps moving up closer and closer to the beginning of the new year. I swear 2007 just started and here we are, creeping up on 2008 ALREADY!

Today, I embarked on a torturous journey. One requiring lots of patience and a "can do" attitude! Can you guess what it is? I know....the title was sort of a "foreshadowing" of sorts....

I spent 4+ hours shopping and succeeded in securing only ONE gift. ONE!!!! That's it!!! How does that happen??!?! It's called, I actually CARE! Believe it or not, I actually hand pick gifts for loved ones and friends instead of gift cards. I really wish I could be one of these people who gave away gift cards as "gifts", but I just can't get myself to do it. I scoured about 12+ stores....some located miles away!

I never realized there were so many perfume labels! Really....is there a difference between a JLo perfume and a Britney Spears? They're both washed up, uneducated trash who probably had no real input as to what went into their "signature" perfumes. I certainly don't care to "smell like JLo"....

Do you know what could possibly be the best store out there? The Container Store. A store completely dedicated to feeding the American frenzy of overconsumption by allowing us a way to organize all the items that we buy, but don't really need. I love it! Only in the States will you spend $100+ to create an "organizing system" to store the myriad of holiday themed kitchen items and fondue sets that get used once a year if they're lucky!

Don't get me wrong....I get sucked right into it as well! Somehow, I seem to be oddly attracted to snowman and Santa mugs, figurines, knickknacks, potholders, towels, etc, etc.....

Maroon 5

2007-11-09T02:17:00.001-08:00

Is it safe to say that any two men that are at a Maroon 5 concert by THEMSELVES should be considered G-A-Y????
Honestly, as much as I enjoy Maroon 5's music, I can't see a straight man singing "this love has taken its toll on me...." while all the women around him are swooning. I have not seen so many women at one concert before.....besides Jack Johnson and even then, there was a better ratio of men to women....
Apres-concert bar ended up being Elevate, since it is in downtown and just several blocks away from the Staples Center. That is where we met the ASSES - fat ass, ass squared, and dumb ass.
Fat was exactly that - a fat ass who was married, but thought he could get away with being single for the night. Ass squared liked to brag about his ass modeling days. Dumb ass literally ran into the glass and started bleeding at the bridge of his nose.
Ah yes....nothing like attracting the group of ASSES.....

Post Marathon

2007-06-20T18:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I completed my first marathon in San Diego a couple weeks ago. WOW! What a feat for my feet! [eyes roll] Make fun of me....that's okay....I know how bad that was....

Now that my marathon is over, my body seems to be falling apart. My knees are jacked and so is my hip. I'm starting to feel like an old person complaining about all their physical ailments! I think my brain is falling apart too because I have signed on board to be a mentor for the next Team in Training season! I will be doing a half marathon this time....in San Francisco!

I feel a bit rusty since I haven't blogged in awhile, but it's good to start blogging again. There is something therapeutic about writing about completely irrelevant things. I wonder how much time we all waste reading absolute garbage for "entertainment".

Christmas is over?!?!?

2006-12-25T23:11:00.000-08:00

I know, I know....if you're anything like me, you don't want Christmas to end! It's such a wonderful holiday with all the best "warm and fuzzies" of life! :) Well, we're in luck this year! Christmas and Hanukkah may be over already, but we have one more holiday to look forward to! Besides, isn't that the best part? Looking forward to something?

Tomorrow, we get to celebrate Kwanzaa! Yippee!! I don't know about you, but I am super excited about celebrating Kwanzaa! The best thing about Kwanzaa is that it lasts a whole week! Imagine that!

I love the fact that we have yet another holiday to celebrate because there just aren't enough holidays in a year! Hell! We should have another holiday to celebrate ME. Yup! I think I deserve to have a holiday revolve around me and other people like me. It should be a time of reflection and restoring our roots to ME. Starting Aug 2007, the entire month of August should be a holiday. We can call it Bruingirl Month.

El Gringo

2006-11-10T12:59:00.000-08:00

El Gringo, a Mexican restaurant in the Southbay, has been shut down for an unknown period of time. The name, El Gringo, is being protested by local denizens of the Southbay. El Gringo, which is a Spanish word to describe a Caucasian in a disparaging way, is considered offensive by some. Matt Johnson*, who recently moved to the Southbay, states "I was shocked by this obvious jab at Caucasians!" Some are even more offended by the "dorky looking white boy" whose face is painted as a mural outside the restaurant.

The owner, who has chosen to remain anonymous, has declined to comment. El Gringo has been a major staple in the Southbay for many years, but has recently come under attack for some of their menu items. Some of their menu items included things like "El Gringo Chimichanga" and "Blonde Bimbo Burrito".

ACLU representative, Andrea Parker, has been a key advocate for the Caucasians who are pursuing a class action lawsuit against both the restaurant chain and the city. The first trial is set for the second week of September and will most likely result in a permanent shutting down of the once loved restaurant.

*Names have been changed to protect the non-existent

Bruingirl in Chile

2006-09-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

Bruingirl was traveling throughout Chile in August with some friends and had the time of her life! The trio of girls, aptly named the L.A. Girls, were apparently up to no good. They drank too much wine. They appreciated Pablo Neruda and the depth of his poetry. They got wake up calls at 630am by the in-house Nazi. They ate lunches at random hole in the walls that would barely pass a "C" rating in LA. They flirted. They snowboarded and skiied. They danced on top of tables. They made penis models out of snow. They drank 40yr old port and smoked cigars. All in all, it was a great trip for all involved.

The lesson learned from all of this?? Bruingirl doesn't like to stay in the U.S. when traveling. Bruingirl is trying to fill up her passport before it expires in 2008. Just 7 more pages to fill and 2 yrs left! Can she do it???? Can she make it happen????

Veinte-cuatro horas mas!!

2006-07-31T13:46:00.000-07:00

Yo necesito un vacacion! Dos semanas en Chile es un vacacion perfecto parami! Yo estoy practicando mi espanol en preparacion el viaje. Yo pienso que escribo mas bueno que hablo!

Disfruta tu verano en los Estados Unidos!!!! Yo disfrutare mi verano en Chile!!! Escribire despues revuelvo a California! Ciao!

Upcoming vacation

2006-07-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

In less than a week, I will be on a plane headed to Chile! I will be in deep powder, snowboarding the Andes! Yes, that is correct! I will be boarding/skiing south of the equator in a week! For 2 weeks, we will be touring Santiago, Valparaiso, Vina del Mar, the wine country, and Portillo. Bruingirl is going to have the time of her life!

That being said, I think it's somewhat difficult for me to focus on the tasks at hand.....like work! Who wants to work when a vacation is coming up? Nothing will be sweeter than drinking Chilean wine that's purchased at a Chilean vineyard instead of the local Trader Joe's! Nothing will be more exhilerating than riding down a 2600 vertical drop, of a 2 miles run, with Mt. Aconagua in the background.

Heat wave in Southern California? 90 degrees at the beaches? Humidity? None of these things will be on my mind while Chile is enjoying their mild winter!! :)

Middle East Crisis

2006-07-20T16:04:00.000-07:00

Why is it that people in the Middle East are constantly fighting? Why can't they just take a chill pill and agree to disagree? I think I have several perfect solutions for them!

1) Marijuana. Serious loads of it. I think we need to "smoke them out". Instead of tobacco, we should lace all their tobacco with pot so that when they smoke out of their hookahs, they will get completely stoned. They will be so stoned that they wouldn't want to do anything besides sit on their asses and order McDonald's. What would be a better solution than that?

2) Team America. If they can take out Kim Il Jong and the rest of the F.A.G. organization, they can do anything! Besides, their undercover endeavors are so professional!

3) Michael Moore. Perhaps he could create a documentary on their countries, filled with falsified information and anti-patriotism. The Middle Eastern countries will become so apathetic to their own countries that no one will care whose borders and whose! Also, they can stand united against the one thing that they can all mutually detest - Michael Moore.

4) David Hasselhoff. Hey, it seemed to have worked for the Germans. Why not for the Hezbollahs and the Israelis???

Jury Duty

2006-07-12T11:03:00.000-07:00

I suppose it is our duty to serve on a jury at least at one point and time in our lives. Our constitution gives us the "right" to a jury trial and therefore, we, as citizens of the United States, get to partake in this lovely judicial process.

I arrived at my designated courthouse at 8:00am, as per my jury summons. After the "airport" like process of having my belongings scanned, I was herded into a large room with rows upon rows of chairs. I should be thankful....at least the chairs were cushioned and we had Internet access at $5/hr. I guess things could have been worse. I could have been chosen for a month long trial. That would have been fun.

I was lucky though....we were all excused from being chosen because all the cases that day were settled out of court. If only all cases can be settled out of court....

"Listen, Bob....I have to make it home for my kid's soccer game at 4pm this afternoon. Can your client plead guilty and I'll cut you a deal?"

"Joe, what did you have in mind?"

"How about 2 weeks jail time and 1 month community service and 6 months of therapy?"

"1 week jail time, 1 week community service, and 1 month therapy...."

"Your client is guilty as all hell! 3 months therapy and 2 weeks community service and I'll give you the 1 week jail time."

"Alright...it's a deal!"

Then, everyone can go home happy! Potential jurors don't get called in, the attorneys get to go home early, the accused still gets reprimanded, and everyone wins!!! Hooray for cutting deals!!!

One Red Paperclip

2006-07-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of this guy? Some Canadian dude traded his one red paperclip for a variety of things to work his way up to a house! Can you believe that???

I think the whole concept of the Internet community, a la Craigslist for example, is so fascinating! People geniunely want to help other people accomplish their dreams and goals, even if they are strangers!

Can you even imagine something like this happening 15 years ago? What's even scarier is that some of the kids these days cannot imagine life without the Internet. Wow....I just felt really old right there for a second....

Medicine aisle

2006-06-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

Stereotypes and cliches are so great because they are so true! I went shopping at Target today. Luckily, I was able to get in and out before the apres-work crowd who make it impossible to find parking!

I like to take my time at Target, zig-zagging between various aisles and looking at items on sale that I will never need. One of these aisles that I walked passed was the medicine aisle. I literally had to stop and walk back to observe this aisle! There were a handful of gray-haired folks looking at various bottles of pain medication, among other things. It was such the classic, stereotypical sight that I almost laughed out loud!

"Myrtle....what do you think of this new Aleve??" asks Henry.

"Oh, Henry! You should know better than to take a pain medication that your doctor did not prescribe you!" retorts Myrtle.

Yeah....I'm really looking forward to getting old. Reeaaaallly. I am......

The "novelty" effect

2006-06-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

What is the "novelty" effect? Well, this blog is the perfect example! I started really getting involved with blogging about a year and a half ago when it was "oh so shiny and new"! Then, as life happened, my interest began to wane. Poor blog.....

So, here I am again. I hope my readers are still around....??? I've neglected this site for several months it seems....maybe there wasn't anything stimulating in my life since I've passed my CFP. Maybe I've just become a beach bum.....either way, this is no way to treat my blog, I suppose.

Let's get my blog back up and running! :) At least until the next time I get bored of writing.... :)

Gay Days

2006-03-21T08:50:00.000-08:00

**I already know someone is going to be hyper-sensitive about this and say something, but I am not here to be "Miss Politically Correct". If you want something PC, you can go read somone else's blog, or better yet, go read the front page of any other "general" publication.**

That being said, did you know that there are days at Disneyland dedicated to the celebration of those who lead alternative lifestyles??? They are called "gay days" and all the homosexuals who care to attend this event go all out at Disneyland. Why is it that so many gay guys love anything Disney? Or Spongebob Squarepants? Is it just me or does it seem like they cling onto anything that is remotely nostalgic or reminds them of their childhood?

What I don't understand is why the gay community feels the need to exclaim to the world, "Look! I'm GAY!!!!! Yay for me and my limp-wristed friends!" Okay, I understand that you're gay and that's fine. As a matter of fact, I honestly don't care what happens between you and your lovers in the bedroom (or at Rage in WeHo)! Does the straight community go around announcing that we're straight? Why don't we have STRAIGHT DAYS at Disneyland? From now on, I'm going to walk around town announcing "Hey everyone! Guess what??? I'm straight! I'm a woman and I LOVE men!"

Myspace

2006-02-23T13:58:00.000-08:00

Myspace has an area where you can create a blog on your profile page. As a dedicated blogger to the great people of Google, I think I shall continue to blog through the original blog site. Myspace is an interesting website - none too different from friendster or facebook (for the college set). It's interesting how small of a world it truly is when you run across old high school and college friends on myspace.

Some people seem to use it as a brag book - these are the younger moms with young children. These moms are basically creating an online scrapbok with their "lil ones" pictures and big moments in life carefully chronicled. Do we really care that little Suzie made her first poo?? No!!!!

Others seem to use it to promote their newest line of music or clothing line. They are the ones who email a bunch of different people on the network and ask to be your friend. Who in the world wants even more unsolicited emails/spam???

Then, there are the ones who are trying to keep it completely professional. Being that it is mostly a social site, these poor people are barking up the wrong tree. Seriously, what truly successful 40+ yr old professional is going to try to utilize the site to "network" with other professionals with whom they can do business?

My favorite? The teeny bopper age set, especially the girls, who look like little sluts and post their wares for all the world to see. Making daddy proud..... The fact that the site even allows minors to create profiles is a huge liability waiting to happen. Why not just exclaim to the entire universe of perverts to come and take advantage of these attention-hungry girls?

Lost: 2006 Winter

2006-02-16T15:27:00.000-08:00

LOST: winter season 2006

Rain has been sparse and the weather has been consistently over 70 degrees during the day. Winter usually preceeds spring and in Southern California, is characterized by quite a bit of rain in the great LA basin area and snow in the mountains.

Winter generally exhibits colder temperatures of 55-60 during the day and dropping to the 30s-40s at night. Winter usually requires a jacket or a coat at night, and even during the day. Winter usually means killer waves and fresh powder in the mountains. Winter usually means gloomy skies and hot soups.

I went to the beach on Sunday in shorts and a tank top. I was wearing a bathing suit. I thought for a moment that it was summer. Then, the sun set at 530pm and I realized that it was still winter. What happened to winter though? I miss it. I wish it would come back. Where did it go? Does anyone know? REWARD!!!

Curling

2006-02-15T11:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, the Winter Olympics are upon us and as the 7th ranked show being watched last week, I must provide some coverage on this.

WHAT THE HELL IS CURLING?!?!?!? And, more importantly, how in the world did it become an Olympic sport? I mean, seriously, what kind of athletic prowess is needed to push a chunk of highly polished granite down a sheet of ice?

My goal for the next Winter Olympics is to become a professional curler. Hey, I've got four years to train for that gold medal. My training schedule:

Sunday: Rest
Monday: Run 10 miles. Weight training. 100 push-ups. Practice for 4hrs at the local curling center.
Tuesday: Run 7.5 miles. 100 push-ups. Practice for 4hrs at the local curling center.
Wednesday: Run 10 miles. Weight training. Practice for 2hrs at the local curling center.
Thursday: Rest
Friday: Same as Mon.
Saturday: Practice for 6hrs at the local curling center. Run 6 miles.

I think that will put me in an optimal condition to win the gold. Of course, I could always just go down to the local dive bar and play shuffleboard with a pitcher of beer and it would probably produce the same effect.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2006-02-14T09:06:00.000-08:00

I just completed my 100th blog, as of my last blog! Hurray!!!! How many of you out there can claim such a milestone? Okay, maybe quite a few of you, but I thought it was pretty neat nonetheless!

So, it's Feb. 14th. That wonderful Hallmark holiday where people wear pink and give gifts that no one really wants. Seriously, why is it necessary to put chocolates in a heart-shaped box? It must be the cheesiest cliche gift! I'll take a small box of Godiva or Teuscher any day over a cheesy heart-shaped box of bad Hershey's chocolate.

Now, before you get all defensive about Hershey's, I would like to say that I don't discriminate on chocolate THAT much. Who doesn't like a "kiss" now and then? But, I must say that regular "commercialized" chocolate just doesn't compare to gourmet chocolatiers.

Wishing you all a wonderful Valentine's Day filled with heart-shaped box chocolates from the local Rite-Aid, exquisite diamonds from Kay Jewelers, a stuffed teddy bear, a Hallmark card, a dozen red roses, conversation heart candies, and an overbooked dinner reservation somewhere with a prixe fix menu.

Superbowl Sunday

2006-02-06T13:14:00.000-08:00

Every year, the Superbowl provides an opportunity for companies to create a commercial ad that would justify the millions of dollars that are eventually spent. Some companies like to throw in big name celebrities like P. Diddy or Jay Mohr. Others like to throw in Playboy playmates or other sexually enticing women.

Go daddy, a website registration site, had to go through quite a few revisions before one of their commercials could air on national TV. Considering the decrease in effectiveness of running a TV ad these days, the prices of Superbowl ads are still running high. Honestly, I don't know how seeing a baby clydesdale pulling a Budweiser wagon is going to make me want to go out and buy a Budweiser. I'm still going to be a Miller Light girl. Why? The taste and the amount of carbs and calories.

Maybe it's just me, but I really don't see how some of these ads could actually increase market share in already oversaturated markets. So, what was your favorite commercial(s) this past Sunday? Mine was the Ameriquest Mortgage commercial - what was yours?

Happy New Year!

2006-01-26T12:52:00.000-08:00

Okay, so we're almost into February, but I would have to say that 2006 is still relatively young. Apparently, I've been neglecting my duties as a blogger. Yet AGAIN!

Hmmm....I'm starting to think that perhaps the novelty of this "blogging" thing may have worn off, but I still enjoy it. :) So, the month of January is almost over and I'm just getting around to updating my blog. Whoops!

So where have I been? Celebrating the new year in Scottsdale, snowboarding in Mammoth, and generally studying for my exam. Yup. AGAIN. Good times.....good times.....

Topic of the day: Cops who were losers in high school and feel the need to exert their power and authority now to feel good about themselves. Really. It's pathetic. I guess not all 5-0s are like that, but there's definitely quite a bit out there who like to quote "according to code number ....." and think that they are truly cool. I just ran into one earlier this week and I was not a happy camper. He was such a dork!

Merry Christmas!!

2005-12-25T00:36:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!!!!

When did Christmas become an offensive word? Apparently, in this hyper-sensitive age in which we live, even saying "Merry Christmas" is considered offensive by some. Wow, oh wow.....what sort of a monster have we created with this whole "politically correct" nonsense??

Who cares if you don't celebrate Xmas? I might call you a terrorist, but that's beside the point. I mean, really, is it a personal attack? "Hey, Bob! Merry Christmas!" I don't know about you, but it sounds more like a happy greeting than something offensive.

Well, hey, if you want to stew in your corner and be miserable, do it yourself. Please don't spread your disease to the rest of society. As for me, I'm going to bask in the love of my family and friends, eat good food, relax, enjoy my day off, give and get presents, and celebrate the birth of Christ!

Happy Kwanzaa! Whoops....I mean Happy Hannukah! I mean Merry Christmas!

Elevator or stairs?

2005-12-19T13:44:00.000-08:00

Elevators are a great invention. They allow us to move quickly from the first floor to the 20th floor or however high in the sky you would like to be. Can you imagine having to walk up 20-30 flights of stairs everyday? We would all have great butts and quads, but I digress....

The other day, I decided to take the elevator to the 6th floor where I work. A lady got into the elevator with me and then she pressed the "2" button. Isn't that the next floor up? Excuse my ignorance, but the last time I checked, there was a set of stairs to the 2nd floor. Not only that, but she didn't have a limp or any problems walking. As far as I could tell, she had a set of perfectly capable legs and feet that would have carried her up a flight of stairs.

Now, I know that in some buildings, there are no stairs that are accessible by the regular public, but my building has a large, open stairway that sweeps down into our lobby. It's large and inviting! It screams to be used! Why those on the 2nd floor do not take advantage of this is a mystery to me. It takes much longer to wait for the elevator than it does to walk up the flight of stairs. Perhaps I'm being too harsh. Perhaps these people have a fear of stairs - bathmophobia. Perhaps they have ambulophobia - a fear of walking. I really should be more sensitive to people and their logical fears. After all, I am a bananaphobic, verbophobic (which makes no sense considering how verbose I can be at times) chrysophobe.

Hosting a Christmas Party

2005-12-07T13:23:00.000-08:00

We are well into the holiday season now when we are being bombarded with parties, left and right. Why be a passive attender of these festivities when you can throw one yourself? As an amateur Martha Stewart, let me be the first to give you some FREE advice on how to throw the perfect Christmas party!

1) Naming the party - you must call it a HOLIDAY party, lest we offend someone celebrating Kwanzaa. Either that, or you can call it something akin to "The Smiths' 5th Annual Kwanukkamasdan (that's Kwanzaa, Hannukah, Christmas, and Ramadan, in case you were wondering) Party!" I think that would cover all the bases....except maybe the Trekkies.

2) Candles - Never use normal lightbulbs for a party. You want the lighting to be as dim as possible so that even a she-male can look fairly decent under the warm glow of candlelight.

3) Eggnog - Be sure to pour plenty of brandy into it. Nothing is better than a liquored group of revelers.

4) Christmas music - Make sure you have a lovely selection of old classics like "Grandma got run over by a reindeer". Better yet, get some Kenny G. That will be a real crowd pleaser. Really.

5) Lights - Some people may opt for the "tasteful" look of little white lights along the outer trim of their home. Who wants to decorate their house with something that small? Go BIG! This is America and we are all about supersizing! Get the biggest lights that you can buy and make sure you cover every inch of your house with these HUGE, multi-colored lights. Go ahead...make a statement!

6) Entertainment - People should not be allowed to mingle and mix at will. This is a holiday party! Make everyone participate in cheesy games so that they can "get to know one another"!

7) Christmas carols - Make copies of all the Christmas carols and hand them out to all your guests. Make everyone gather around the piano and sing songs like "Jingle Bells" and "O Little Town of Bethlehem". [No joke: I was at dinner last night at an upscale restaurant where we noticed a huge group of people singing Xmas carols. They had a semi-private room and all were given sheets of music. This group decided to stand around their table and sing carols! "Waitress! I'll drink whatever they're drinking!"]

8) Christmas-themed sweaters - Remember when you were a kid and your mom made you wear the "darling" sweater with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer on it? Well, apparently, some people never grew out of that phase. Insist that everyone wear a sweater with some sort of Xmas/holiday icon sewn on it.

9) Food - you can NEVER have too many Xmas tree shaped sugar cookies with green sprinkles on it.

10) White elephant gift exchange - I think that we should always spend money on things we don't want, to gift to people we normally wouldn't gift to. That way, I can use up all my storage to hold all the useless gifts that I can recycle, year after year. I'm thinking that after several white elephant gift exchanges, I may eventually end up with the original gift that I bought. Wouldn't that be interesting??

I hope this has been an informative session and now you too, can throw a fabulous Christmas party! A party to be remembered for years to come.....

Trapped in the Closet

2005-11-30T16:10:00.000-08:00

R. Kelly has come out with the GREATEST piece of creative genius! Beethoven? Nothing compared to R. Kelly! Chopin? Mozart? Mere fools compared to the type of work created by Mr. R. Kelly.

All I can say is, "wow, oh wow....." In case you were not aware, R. Kelly has come out with a new song/video called "Trapped in the Closet". I am going to give a "Cliffs Notes" version of this hit single with its intricately woven story lines and comprehensive character development.

This song unfolds like a story with various chapters involving several different characters who are all connected to one another in some way. Mr. Kelly is obviously trying to portray the innerconnectivity of our existence. The song starts with a character named Sylvester who cheats on his wife, Gwendolyn, with another married woman whose own husband was apparently involved in an amorous affair with the church deacon. Guns are drawn and bickering ensues. Sylvester goes home to his wife who was cheating on him with a cop named James, who happened to give Sylvester a speeding ticket as he was racing home to be with his wife. Guns are drawn again and this time, someone gets shot. Mr. Kelly is portaying the frailty of human existence at this point while using an excellent example of foreshadowing with the interaction between Sylvester and the cop in chapter 4.

The rest of the chapters, as you can imagine, continue with more infidelity and guns being pointed at people. There's people hiding in closets and cabinets. An asthmatic midget who is involved with a chick named Bridget (imagine that one!) and craps in his pants is also involved around chapter 10. The length to which Mr. Kelly delves into each character's development is just astonishing!

I think everyone should give their loved ones this single as the perfect Christmas present! What else could someone want??????

Post Thanksgiving Ruminations....

2005-11-28T11:11:00.000-08:00

Well, Thanksgiving is behind us now and what remains of 2005 will pass by in a flurry of shopping, Christmas trees, parties, family, etc, etc...

As usual, Thanksgiving was spent with the family, overstuffing ourselves with turkey, stuffing, gravy, and the rest of the usual suspects. I think most people are so stressed out between traveling and dealing with family, that most people don't take the time to stop and think about how fortunate we are, no matter how "difficult" our situation may seem at times.

RM and I were fortunate to take a girls' trip to Big Sur after the BIG T-day. We realized how thankful we should be on a daily basis and it's sad that so many people live their lives without being really grateful for everything. We were thankful for being able to see the beauty of the CA coastline. Thankful that we could walk and hike. Thankful that we had a car and money for food and gas. Thankful for our friendship and our respective families.

Do you really take the time to think about how fortunate you are? Do you take time to be grateful for the opportunities that you've been given? Do you realize that a one month car payment can feed an entire family in Africa for a whole year or more??? It truly puts things into perspective.

Bruingirl is BACK!!!!!

2005-11-22T22:16:00.000-08:00

After a long, grueling exam that took place over the course of two days, Bruingirl can resume a life of normalcy again! :)

Of course, some people may ask, when was Bruingirl EVER normal??? But really, isn't "normal" a totally subjective term anyway?

After studying for so many hours, it is amazing how your brain ceases all other functional abilities. I can honestly say that I now understand the meaning of the "absent-minded professor" syndrome. Looking at flashcards while driving probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but then again, is talking on the phone while driving? Eating and driving? Putting on make-up and driving? Blackberrying and driving?

The more you think about all the things that people do in their cars while driving makes you want to stay off the roads as much as possible!

This weekend, Bruingirl and RM are off to a "Thelma and Louise" type of adventure. Hey, I would have no complaints running into a Brad Pitt look-alike!

Commericals that drive you crazy!

2005-10-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

I have a TV in my office. It is on CNBC all day long. Most commercials just pass through my mind - in one ear and out the other. There are a few that will not leave me though.

One in particular is the Areva commercial. If I hear the song "Funkytown" one more friggin time, I am going to lose my mind!!!! Areva is doing this huge ad campaign (obviously - when have you ever seen an Areva commercial otherwise?) to explain nuclear power. The whole commercial is set to "Funkytown" and this commercial must be playing at least 10 times a day!!!!

It is the MOST annoying thing in the world! It's even worse than the Cal Worthington commercials from the 80s (SoCal thing). It's worse than the Old Navy commercials. You have to see it to see what I'm talking about. Of course, many people might not think it's so bad, but when you have to endure it over and over again....believe me, you will want to do something malicious to the "creative" people who designed the commercial.

No life

2005-10-13T11:38:00.000-07:00

Bruingirl has been without much of a life, as of late. This poor social butterfly has been relegated to her office and to the confines of her dining room table where she studies. Blogging or emailing? No time for that! Spending time with friends??? Certainly not! Vacations? Just a mirage.....My extent of a social life has been in my car when I'm driving home from work. I get to talk to friends and "catch up". Yes, bruingirl's life is nonexistent until November 19th.

Remember those anti-drug commercials from the 80s? "This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs." Well, I feel like my brain is just like those eggs. FRIED. Except mine is getting fried by a couple of large textbooks the size of the Gutenberg Bible.

The only thing on my mind these days is time value of money, insurable risks, joint tenancy in common, Investment Advisers Act of 1940, and other extremely boring subjects.

Candy dishes

2005-09-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

I feel like a trick-or-treater in my office. There are candy dishes everywhere with goodies from chocolates to life savers. Candy dishes seem to be an ubiquitous staple in every white collar office. They are no different than the stapler or sticky note or inbox. It doesn't matter what time of year it is. There are candy dishes filled with chocolates and candies throughout the year. It's no wonder that Americans are getting fatter. We sit on our asses all day and munch our way through mini chocolate bars. Hey, they're tiny! How much damage can they do? Well, if you're eating about 5-7 of the "mini" chocolates, that comes out to quite a bit now, doesn't it??

Well, what purpose do these little trinkets serve? Why do they exist? Who created the tradition of having candy dishes at one's desk? Why more women than men who engage in this activity? No one will ever know, but here's some interesting tid-bits from Fastcompany.com:

"The survey found that while 26% of candy dish owners share office gossip over sweet treats at the candy dish, dish distractions aren't an issue [Thank God, snark added by FC]. Candy dish owners believe they are more organized (46% versus 32% of non-candy dish owners), hard working (63% of candy dish owners consider themselves hard working, versus 37% of their non-candy dish counterparts [Are we on another planet?, FC commentary again], creative (64% versus 46% without a candy dish in the office) and more likely to be team leaders (55% versus 40% of those without a candy dish in the office).
"The delicious data further revealed that those who dish out candy on a regular basus are most likely to be female (69%), Republican (41%), married (56%) and twice as likely as non-candy dish owners to say they were extremely satisfied with their current job [In other words, borderline psychotic suburban women stuck in loveless marriages on a middling path to nowhere, interpretation added]."
"The survey also found that there are many 'bonuses' to being a candy dish owner--not only are candy dish owners perceived to be more friendly (41%), more candy dish owners also received a financial bonus in the past year (43%) than non-candy dish owners (37%). While we know of no company that requires candy dishes as part of a job description [My God! Could this be right!?], sixty percent of survey respondents with candy dishes also reported that they received a raise last year, while 49% of non candy-dish owners reported getting a raise over the same period."

Socialism?

2005-09-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

Senator Byron Dorgan from N. Dakota thinks that the big oil companies need to give their "windfall profits" back to the public. He thinks the government should impose a special excise tax on oil companies.

I am no happier about the price I'm paying at the pump to fill up my car, but to impose a special excise tax on these companies that represent capitalism at its finest is absolutely ridiculous! I saw an interview on Dorgan this morning and he thinks that the oil companies are making too much money off the general public. Who is to determine how much is too much? I don't know about you, but isn't that the whole PURPOSE of capitalism? Dorgan claims to support capitalism, but this tax he supports is sounding more and more like socialism.

As Americans, we are so spoiled with paying such astronomically low gas prices (have you been to Europe?) that we feel the need to point the finger at someone else to take the responsibility and "ease our pain". In Dorgan's case, it's the oil companies. Well, let's see, the average cost of a gallon of gas is about $3.20. That comes out to $0.20/cup. How much does your cup of coffee from Starbucks cost? It certainly puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

Why just end at the oil companies? Let's attack Starbucks, Microsoft, Dell, Apple, Toyota, GE, Disney, Pfizer, Unilever, and every other publicly (both US and international) held company that actually turns a profit. Let's place an excise tax on their "windfall profits" so that we can re-distribute the wealth. I don't know about you, but that seems like a slippery slope to a place called socialism.

I think Adam Smith may be turning over in his grave.

Ambulance sirens

2005-09-27T15:08:00.000-07:00

I am on the 6th floor of a building and I can still hear the ambulance sirens from miles away. I think the walls here are too thin. What do you think?

It's funny to watch people on the street when they hear a siren. There are those who understand exactly what they are supposed to do and move their cars to the right hand side of the road. Then, there are those who just stop. That's it. Just stop exactly where they are. Then, there are the really intelligent ones. They keep driving, maybe a bit slower, but still driving. Maybe they'll even apply the break as they try to contemplate what they should do.

It's stressful enough having to rush to an accident scene. It isn't any easier when you are dealing with people who are not very intelligent and don't understand anything.

You're Getting Old When....

2005-09-14T14:52:00.000-07:00

1) You know of more babies being born than people getting married.
2) You have more friends getting divorced than getting married.
3) You are no longer eligible for the U.S. military draft.
4) Midnight is a "late night" out.
5) Your back starts to hurt.
6) Your friends would rather "work on the house" than watch football on a Sunday afternoon.
7) Your parents are looking into long-term care options.
8) Parents start dying.
9) You are more concerned about saving for retirement than saving for a vacation.
10) You don't know when school starts in the fall.

What can you add to this list?

Busy Busy Bee

2005-09-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

The sun creeps up into the skies as she climbs out of bed to face the challenges of yet another day. Driving into the office, her eyes dart constantly between the rear-view mirror and the road ahead....just to make sure there are no men in blue uniform in hiding. They can be rather vicious with people trying to get to work early in the morning. They know people are in a rush. There is no better time to wait in a speed trap than during rush hour.

She nods a hello to the security guards on her way into the building and waits patiently as the elevator pulls up to the 6th floor of one of the only "high-rise" buildings in the Southbay surburbia. The phone is flashing as if it was its way of greeting her. The computer happily beeps as she boots it on. She scans headline after headline of stories, catching up on all the business data that takes place within a short 12hr period. ABC Company merges with XYZ Company. 123 Co's CEO is caught in a money-laundering scam. The Al Qaeda are threatening world domination again. Storms are wrecking lives. The market marches onward and upward.

Phones ringing. Paperwork needs signing. Proposals. Emails. Mindless banter over football with colleagues. Scheduling. The 12 hour day is gone before she knows it. The sun is setting and casting a orangish-red hue into her office. The flurry of activity has long since died down. Her "to-do" list has dramatically shortened, but obviously not enough. She prepares for yet another day. The lights go off.

Seasonal Ball Shavers

2005-09-04T23:40:00.000-07:00

In this day and age, it is appropriate for both men and women to groom all areas of their bodies. When I say all areas....I mean ALL areas. Some are more meticulous than others. Some prefer the "au natural" look. Still others like to synchronize it with the changing of seasons. These are the "seasonal ball shavers".

The seasonal ball shaver obviously likes the look and enjoys the feel of having his balls shaved. As much as he enjoys this, he dislikes the entire process through which he must endure in order to reach the end goal. This is why his grooming process changes with the seasons. When it's cold out, it is more comforting to have an extra layer of protection from the elements. When it's warm out, less is always the preferred route.

It seems to me that most girls prefer their men to be "au natural" unless he has a hairy back/ass. Then, it's all about the laser procedures and weekly wax appointments. So, guys must be shaving their balls for themselves and not for the ladies. What do you all think? What are your thoughts on shaven balls?

Helping the Victims

2005-09-01T11:51:00.000-07:00

Damn that Hurricane Katrina! Here are some sites through which you can help out the victims out there in LA, MI, and AL. BTW, what pisses me off more than anything are the people who are trying to benefit from this tragedy, i.e. THE LOOTERS!!! What the hell is wrong with them??? Do they have no conscience? That's a blog for another day.....

The Greater Los Angeles American Red Cross(monetary donations only)
Phone: (213) 739-5267 Address: 2700 Wilshire Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90057 http://www.redcrossla.org/index.php

Greater Los Angeles United Way(monetary donations only)
Phone: (213) 630-2100 Address: 523 West Sixth Street Los Angeles, CA 90014
http://www.unitedwayla.org/index.html

The Orange County Chapter of the American Red Cross(monetary donations only)
Phone: 800.435.7669 Address: P.O. Box 11364, Santa Ana, CA 92711
www.oc-redcross.org

Orange County United Way(monetary donations only)
Phone: 800.272.4630Address: United Way of America, P.O. Box 630568, Baltimore, MD 21263-0568
www.unitedway.org

Giving Children of Hope(accepting items of need: cases of water, hygiene products, sunscreen, canned goods, batteries, baby diapers & formula, chainsaws, generators, extension cords)Phone: 714.523.4454 Address: 8332 Commonwealth Ave., Buena Park, CA 90621
www.gchope.org

United Methodist Committee on Relief(accepting monetary donations and flood relief goods)Phone: 800.554.8583Address: UMCOR P.O. Box 9068, New York, NY 10087-9068www.gbgm-umc.org

Catholic Charities(monetary donations only)
Phone: 800.919.9338Address: Catholic Charities USA, Hurricane Katrina, P.O. Box 25168, Alexandria, VA 2213-9788
www.catholiccharitiesusa.org

Salvation Army(monetary donations only, send checks w/ "Disaster Relief" written in the memo)
Phone: 800.725.2769Address: P.O. Box 4857, Jackson, MS 39296-4857
http://www.salvationarmy.org/

Being in love

2005-08-30T11:55:00.000-07:00

Someone suggested to me that I post a blog on "being in love". Wow. This could be a multi-part series. In order to write intelligently about this, we need to delve further into the word "love".

I love where I live. I love the beach. I love the mountains. I might even love you, the reader. Don't get your hopes up though because I probably don't....unless I want something from you. Then, I might love you. A LOT.

Our society is obsessed with "being in love" and "finding the right person". It's amazing how many countless websites are out there to help you with love. What's funny is that there are these sites that help you express love and rate your chances of love. Sites that help you find love and make sure that love never dies.

I say screw all that and just be in love with yourself. I am. It works really well. I'm my best friend and lover. I LOVE Me. I LOVE everything about Me. I never argue with Me. I am always good to Me. In short, it is all about Me.

Working on a Saturday

2005-08-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

I started my new job yesterday and so I spent a good part of the day moving into my new office. Of course, the beautiful day outside was just torturing me as I slaved away under artificial sunlight that I have grown to love. If what we have to look forward to is the weekend, but we don't actually spent the weekend doing what we love, then there's really no point in calling it a weekend now, is there?

It's amazing how many people out there work over the weekend. Here's the funny thing - when has a lower white color job employee ever worked over the weekend? That is, when has a secretary ever worked more than her 40hrs/week? Let's say that she's been an executive assistant for many years and gets paid $80,000/yr. That means that a CPA or an attorney or a broker making that much per year is actually earning less on an hourly basis. Think about it - how many professionals do you know who work more than 40hrs/week?

Here I am, working my butt off, but making less than a secretary. Where is the justice?? Maybe I should just go and become someone's assistant.

Unusual encounters

2005-08-16T01:51:00.000-07:00

The Internet has certainly created a most interesting medium for people to meet each other, among all the other things like online shopping, stock quotes, evites, research, etc....The main focus today is on human interactions. Five years ago, it was most certainly taboo to say "Oh, I met him/her online" and now it is much more acceptable. I know that at least 20% of my friends have utilized an online dating service at one point and time in their lives!

Having said that, it is still quite strange to develop a relationship of any level with someone that you "meet online". Behind the screen of the Internet, people can conjure up anything. Some may create a fake persona for themselves. Still, others are photoshop experts who can brush away even the most hideous of flaws.

Personal blogging is a whole different level of online interaction because people reveal so much of their personal lives on it. The fact that so many people are interested in other peoples' lives has made me come to the conclusion that we are a society of voyeurs on some level. What is my point here? My point is that it's strange that we can meet people halfway around the globe without even leaving the comforts of our home!

The Day After

2005-08-14T19:48:00.000-07:00

Short, sweet, and to the point. I would like to thank everyone in my life for showing me their love for me. Thanks for coming out to celebrate my birthday last night and showing me you care. Thanks for being special people in my life. I am truly lucky to have each and everyone one of you in my life and I hope that I am able to provide the same kind of joy in yours. So many people showed up to dinner and to the club last night. Many others called me to wish me a "Happy Birthday" and others actually sang to me! To all those dear to my heart, near and far, I love you all! Thanks for making my birthday special!

We will now resume with our original program of sarcasm......

Corporate politics

2005-08-11T14:29:00.000-07:00

Why do people feel a need to be a brown noser? Don't people have a little bit more self respect than that??? I'm sure everyone out there knows of someone in their office, or worse yet, someone among their friends, who is a brown noser. This is the person who tries too hard to please their manager. This person can pretend to be your best friend, but will use any information garnered from you for their benefit. Ah yes, where would corporate America be without these wonderful creatures of the workplace????

Some of you might be wondering "How do you recognize this specimen?" Well, Bruingirl, as the expert in yet another poignant category of life, knows how:

1) Brown-noser (BN) starts to dress like the boss, whether it be a pearl necklace (get yer mind outta the gutter, kids) or French cuff dress shirts.
2) BN starts to enjoy all the same things as the boss - speedboats, triathlons, underage girls....
3) BN becomes a spy for the boss, narking on anybody that might hold a negative viewpoint about the evil corporation for whom they all work - Hitler-jugend anyone???
4) BN starts to talk and laugh like the boss, using the same words and demeanor.
5) BN walks around the office with an attitude of someone who is more important than he/she really is in the great scheme of things.
6) BN goes out to lunch with boss and claims it as a "travel & expense", failing to understand that T&E are used on clients.
7) BN gets a new position created for him/her in the office so that he/she can justify his/her existence at the company.
8) BN is the first one during a meeting to raise his/her hand to offer an explanation on a question that is posted by boss.
9) BN makes a point to sit in front of the conference room for every meeting.
10) BN has the same bathroom schedule as the boss, going to the bathroom whenever boss goes.

That, my friends, is the profile of the brown noser that secretly (or openly) resides in all of our offices!

6-man Tournament

2005-08-08T13:23:00.000-07:00

Debauchery at its finest. That is what the 6-man tournament is all about. Some may call it a volleyball tournament, but let's get real. Let's call it what it should be called. Drunken attempt at volleyball.

Grown men and women, dressed up as though they were entering a Halloween costume contest....flopping around in the hot sand and attempting a dig....as friends yell encouraging things to their teammates over the megaphone....

The oopah loompahs against the male fairies. The Lakers against the WWE. There were some interesting costume choices this year, as there are every year. Perhaps next year, my girlfriends and I will enter. Any ideas on costumes????

Out of Africa

2005-08-03T10:45:00.000-07:00

My parents just came back from visiting my younger brother in Africa. He's on a missionary trip to the country of Mauritania - one of the poorest countries in the world! There is no running water. There are no beds, just mats on the mud floors. There are no showers - just a big bucket of water that everyone in the family (20+) shares. There are no utensils, just your hands. It is a country forgotten by everyone and still stuck in the Biblical days of the Old Testament.

It amazes me how so many people take everything in their lives for granted! I know so many people who complain (and are truly unhappy) about the most asinine things!!!! Have you ever read the Rant and Rave section on Craigslist??? Those people are so negative that it makes me laugh! Then, there are those whose biggest contemplation in life is the decision between one luxury car or another. It's one thing to shop around and weigh the pros and cons of each. It's another thing to drag it out for months on end and have it really eat away at you to the point of having it negatively affect your marriage (yes, I know someone like this personally).

Sometimes, we all have to take time to gain a different perspective on our lives. If you didn't have a car or a feathertop bed, could you be happy? If you didn't have any clothes besides maybe 3 sets of clothes and shoes, could you be happy? If you didn't get to eat at Nobu and other "high-end" restaurants every week, could you be happy? Could you be happy with just your family and friends? Could you be happy with just enough food for sustenance and enough clothes to keep you modest?

Something deep to think about on this hump day......

Terrible TV shows

2005-08-01T11:09:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm being redundant by preceding "TV shows" with the word "terrible". Why? Well, because I feel as though I'm pointing out the obvious. All TV shows are terrible. Why in the world would people watch some of these shows that exist???? What idiot at the studio gave the "a-okay" for these shows to be produced???

As if we don't already have enough TV shows based on Southern California towns, I just discovered another charming show! It's called "Laguna Beach: The Real OC", on MTV. It claims to be a reality show, but is so scripted that you would have to be an idiot to think that it was the real deal. HP and I were running down the list of all the shows named after SoCal towns and its amazing how many there were! There was "Pasadena", "Beverly Hills: 90210", "Melrose Place", "The OC", "Laguna Beach", and "Baywatch" which was based in Malibu. Am I missing any? I'm waiting for "The Southbay - Life of a Surfer" or "Palos Verdes: Making the Grade" or "Brentwood - The OJ days".

The people who watch these lame ass shows need to be beat (btw, this site has the greatest list of people that are in need of some serious beating). I mean, seriously, don't you people have anything better to do with your lives? Maybe try going to the gym? Maybe try reading a book? Maybe try serving your community?

U.S. Open of Competitive Eating

2005-07-28T09:18:00.000-07:00

Starting this evening, the Alka-Seltzer U.S. Open of Competitive Eating will be broadcast live by ESPN. Yes, that's right! Competitive Eating! Apparently, this "sport" has grown in popularity in recent years as the little Japanese man known as Takeru Kobayashi has held the number one title for several years.

The eating contests range from buffalo wings to birthday cakes and of course, hot dogs. Takeru is known for eating the most hot dogs. He uses a special technique, known as Japanesing, where you dunk the hot dog bun in water to make it easier to consume.

Many may think that an eating contest is nowhere near being a sport. I beg to differ. There's training involved. There's a lot of hard work and sacrifices that must be made - to be a champion in the pie eating contest or the deep fried asparagus? Hey, ESPN thinks it's a sport so why shouldn't we?

I'm thinking of entering the buffalo wing eating contest. Anyone want to help me train??

Supportive Shopping

2005-07-26T10:30:00.000-07:00

Now, as many of you may already know, I am not the most "girly" of girls. I would rather watch football than get a pedicure. I would rather go backpacking for a couple days than go shopping. Every once in awhile though, I have to act like a girl and do "girly" things with my girlfriends. Apparently, girls like to shop. Duh. They like to shop and shop and shop. They like to look at shoes, clothes, earrings, bags, belts, and anything that might put a dent in their wallets. They like boutique stores and Neiman Marcus and Barneys. Personally, I'm like a kid in a candy store at REI (a much nicer sporting goods store than Sportmart or Sports Chalet).

Well, I spent a solid 3 hours shopping with my girlfriends on Sunday and the sociological aspect of it was fascinating! There seems to be a pecking order based on who has the most fashion sense.

Every group has the fashion diva to whom many inquire about their own fashion decisions. She is the one who knows how to pick out the "cutest things!" She will pull clothes off the rack and say things like "Hey RN! Have you seen this?? This will be totally great on you!" She has a quick eye and circles around the store several times.

Then, there is the rival fashion diva. She is just as fashionable as the other one, but shops for herself only. She works alone and moves quickly. She has no qualms about spending hundreds of dollars if she really likes something. She is very decisive with clear black and white boundaries as to what she likes.

Next, there is the objective friend. She will give objective advice. "Yes, that DOES make your thighs look bigger." "Uhhh....yeah...not so much...." She takes her time and doesn't waste it on sections that don't seem suitable. She is just practical and level-headed enough to be responsible, but not to the point of being boring.

Also, there is the observer. She is like a sponge and takes it all in. She knows what she likes but doesn't feel the need to voice her opinion too strongly. She is neutral to all parties.

And no group is complete without the frugal one. She doesn't want to spend the money on buying anything! She thinks everything is too expensive. She has to think everything through before making a purchase. She lacks spontaneity when shopping. This is where "supportive shopping" comes into play. It is a team effort to coerce this one that it is okay to buy something because in life, every purchase can be justified, especially if it can be worn for more than one season.

Crazy pilots?

2005-07-19T14:14:00.000-07:00

Apparently, several commercial and airline transport pilots were indicted for fraud. They had failed to report physiological and psychological conditions that would have otherwise rendered them unfit to fly. They found pilots who were diagnosed with "schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, drug and alcohol addiction, disabling back pain and severe heart conditions."

That's always good to know, don't you think? There's nothing better than putting your life in someone else's hands, especially when they might confuse themselves as a dog. I love talking to my roommate after he's had a long day of work - he's a pilot. I always feel better about flying when he says things like "I was so tired, I was half asleep!" Granted, there is the whole auto-pilot, but that can only carry the plane so far....

It's like when you hear about doctors who are cocaine addicts. Yeah, I want a triple bypass performed by a surgeon who did an 8-ball last night....no, scratch that....who did an 8-ball this morning.

Negligent blogger

2005-07-17T22:52:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've been neglecting my blogging duties. It's been a week and I haven't blogged. Why? Because I've been busy. Mostly, because I couldn't think of anything to write within a quick 10 minutes. Who wants to take more than 10 minutes to write a quick blurb on insignificant events? Oh, wait.....some people actually get PAID to do things like that.

Our company golf tournament was on Thursday. I thought Mr. Spitzer had made our lives completely miserable so that we can't have any fun in the securities industry, but apparently, some things are still under the radar. Either way, there's nothing better than a free golf tournament and seeing all your colleagues drunk. The lesson learned from the day? "Yes, they are free golf balls, but you still have to retrieve them!"

Wedding Season

2005-07-11T07:20:00.000-07:00

It is that time of year when weddings are plentiful and brides are frantically ironing out the last minute details, while engaging in some sort of hostile combat with their mothers. Luckily for me, I just attended my last wedding for this year. Yay!!! My wedding season started early in May and now I don't have to worry about weddings for probably another year....unless there's a sudden shotgun wedding. This year's litany of weddings required me to travel to Yucca Valley to Cabo to Anaheim.
Some people despise weddings. Personally, I think they are loads of fun! It's an excuse to get together with friends and take advantage of the open bar for several hours. It's an excuse to "get down" on the dance floor and do the Macarena. I thought that dance had died in the 90s, but apparently, it is able to rear its ugly head at weddings. The only thing we needed to top the night off would have been "Achy Breaky Heart" for the electric slide.

Google takes over the world

2005-07-07T10:10:00.000-07:00

Google is literally taking over the world. Really. They have this new software program called Google Earth that allows you to "fly" all over the world and gain a bird's eye view of everything! It's truly a dynamic AND free software that blows most other satellite programs, for the layperson, out of the water! You can even chart a course from point A to point B and "play" the entire route so that you get a sense of how to drive that route! Neat, huh?

Ah yes, the techno-geeks of Northern California have done it again! Google is giving Microsoft a run for its money. California IS better than Washington! I must say that I am becoming more and more of a Google bitch; after all, my email, blog, search engine, internal website at work's search engine, and now my whole world is in their hands.

"Revenge of the nerds" has become more and more of a reality since the tech bubble of the late 90s! What will happen to the "cool" kids????

5th of July

2005-07-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

My liver hates me. My liver wants to run away from my body. If liver abuse was a crime, I would be locked up for life. Why am I at work? Why did I drink so much? Why do we celebrate all holidays with weekend benders? Why are jello shots so popular on the 4th of July?

They say that college students engage in binge drinking. 20s somethings do the same thing, except we drink better alcohol instead of Keystone light and generic vodka. Bruingirl is going to detox now...

Security Clearance

2005-06-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

One of my neighbors has to get security clearance for his work. This means that the government people go around and interview different people that he knows. I was one of the lucky ones who got interviewed.
Some of these questions they ask are really funny, if you ask me.

"Do you have any reason to believe that he would not be loyal to his country?" Uhh....I think he's a terrorist.
"What does he like to do in his free time?" Uhhh....he likes to have sex with his girlfriend.
"Does he use any illegal drugs?" Uhh....does pot count?
"When you interact with him on a social basis, what do you guys do?" We smoke crack cocaine and pick up hookers.
"Do you know what he does for work?" He makes bombs that kill bad people in bad countries.

How much do they really get out of these interviews anyway? People are going to say what the government officials want to hear.

Vegas, baby, Vegas!

2005-06-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

Wow, oh wow.....a weekend in Vegas. We took a 630am flight back from Vegas this morning. Painful? Yes. Extremely painful. Why did we do it? Because we were determined to get to work on Monday. Are we crazy? Yes.

The three amigas traveled to Vegas for the first time together. Vegas had no idea what hit it this past weekend. We started the weekend with Bloody Marys at the airport bar on Saturday morning at 930am. That was foreshadowing, if there ever was one!

Ted. Margaritaville. Flamingo Hilton. Shots. Casino Royale. Craps. Flamingo Hilton. Tuscany Suites. Okada at the Wynn. Red bull and vodka. Hard Rock. Craps. Mota. Pure. $7 water. Subway. Hard Rock. Rehab. Room service.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.....enough said.... ;-)

Mmmm....pizza.....

2005-06-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

Fortunate or not, my company likes to feed us. They like to feed us quite often. They like to feed us food that makes us fatter. In my industry, it is fairly common to have someone come in to do a lunch or breakfast presentation. These people realize that the only way we will listen to them is if they feed us. In some senses, it may be considered bribery. Only if you listen to my pitch will you get free food....

Either way, it's free food and sometimes, these people actually have something insightful to say. More often than not, it goes in one ear and out the other. How many times can you have someone tell you that their large-cap growth fund is better than XYZ Co.???

Today, they fed us pizza. We don't like to get pizza too often, but it's free and it's greasy. What else can you ask for? The poor pizza kid came after 1pm though. Everyone was milling about the conference room door when the kid finally came through with 4 boxes of pizza to start. He had to go down and get the rest of the pizza. What happened next was quite the sight. 30+, mostly middle-aged, mostly male professionals in shirts and ties, scrambling to get a slice. There were no plates or napkins yet. Just 4 boxes of pizza.

As one rookie kid poignantly said, "I thought people stopped this kind of behavior in college....?? It's worse than a group of college frat boys!"

Vaccinations

2005-06-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

Newborn babies are being vaccinated with multiple shots these days. How would you like it if your doctor poked you with a needle several times in one day?? That would not be my idea of a good day, especially if I had to sit in a dirty diaper for 2 minutes and then became frustrated that I couldn't fall asleep.

One of these vaccinations include the hepatitis B shot. Now, why in the world would a child being born in a country with less than 2% infected have a need for this?? Let's take a look at the CDC website to see how this disease is transmitted:

- Occurs when blood or body fluids from an infected person enters the body of a person who is not immune.
- HBV is spread through having sex with an infected person without using a condom (the efficacy of latex condoms in preventing infection with HBV is unknown, but their proper use may reduce transmission), by sharing drugs, needles, or "works" when "shooting" drugs, through needlesticks or sharps exposures on the job, or from an infected mother to her baby during birth.

I don't know about you, but it doesn't sound like a child being born today needs to get this shot. It sounds to me like a push by cash-laden pharmaceutical companies to make more money. Then again, if your child is going to grow up to be a promiscuous, heroin addict, it may be a good idea to give them this shot sooner rather than later.

Couch potato

2005-06-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

British potato farmers are up in arms to get "couch potato" taken out of the dictionary. They claim that this gives the potato a negative image. I didn't realize potatoes had a self esteem problem.

I think Mr. Potato Head should have been their spokesperson. Afterall, who else would be a better representative than Mr. Potato Head with his removable eyes and ears?? He's happy and fat. He's got a bushy mustache and a big nose. He even has a wife to boot! Mrs. Potato Head with her high heels and purse! Mr. Potato Head is a celebrity. He has a movie and has a long, commendable history which began in 1952.

Potatoes are our friends. French fries, chili cheese fries, baked potato, scalloped potatoes, twice-baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, potato pancakes, potato soup, and the list of our favorite foods go on and on. Potatoes don't have a negative image at all! Potatoes have and will always have a long, illustrious career of being happily eaten by people all over the world!

Procrastinating as an art form

2005-06-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

You would think that after the lessons learned in college that I would stop procrastinating. You would think that I would understand time management better. Well, here I am again. Studying for yet another exam for work with 300 unbearably boring pages to read before Friday, 9am. Do I have to take this exam to remain employed? No. Should I take the exam and pass it? Yes, especially considering that I've already put in 1.5yrs of previous coursework into this!
If I see another section devoted to a gross estate inclusion due to Sec. 2035 and Sec. 2042, I am going to scream!!! And then, the textbook has the nerve to say "there are many more complex tax issues associated with this matter that cannot be covered in this book". Uhhh....okay, so why even mention it? Just to confuse the reader????
See, my life would be easier if I actually took the entire quarter to study this material instead of waiting until the last two weeks prior to the exam. Now, I have no life and am permanently attached to my textbook until Friday.
All my creative juices have been drained and my physique is taking a turn for the worse. So, this is what happens when you don't workout for a week and a half.....I think I'm getting the shakes.....

Bruingirl Travels...Again!

2005-06-13T10:10:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Cabo San Lucas. I was there from Wednesday through Saturday night for a wedding. For those of you unfamiliar with Cabo, it is a city at the southernmost tip of Baja California. No, it is not part of California. It is part of Mexico.

Weddings are interesting social gatherings. It is a rite of passage that most people experience as they move from a life of "Mr. Smith" to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". They are joyous occasions where everyone has an excuse to become extremely intoxicated and make complete idiots of themselves on the dance floor. There is always that one or two people who get a bit overboard. This wedding was no different.

There was Big Al who started taking off his shirt to "Pour Some Sugar on Me". Why? I guess it was getting too warm for him. Then, there was 'Doza who tried to charm his way into every woman's dress. Let's just say that he was so intoxicated by the end of the night that there were stories of him and missing the toilet.

Yes, weddings and open bars go hand in hand. Where would we get all of our material for great stories without drunken wedding attendees?

As for me, I have never done anything stupid at a wedding! ;-)

Greatest American

2005-06-06T13:28:00.000-07:00

So, AOL television and Discovery Channel are sponsoring this "Greatest American" on the Discovery Channel. The top 25 nominees include people like George W. Bush, Rosa Parks, Albert Einstein, Billy Graham, Wright Brothers, George Washington and a number of other deceased (or soon to be deceased) Americans, as well as some that are alive and well. All of these people have contributed greatly to our country to make it the place it is today in regards to our freedom, technological advancement, economic stability, etc... If you don't like it, go live in Mauritania and then complain about our country and what we lack.

Now, there are others in the top 100 that include people like Hugh Hefner or Donald Trump. You know, the type of American you can truly respect for giving us "Playboy" and "The Apprentice". Afterall, where would we be without such quality entertainment? Who cares about the development of electricity or our first landing on the moon? Other top 100 contenders include Ellen Degeneres, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, and Martha Stewart. Wow, oh wow....I could have a field day with some of these contenders.

My life would be completely devoid of any meaning without the words "run, forrest, run!" I would be completely helpless in regards to planning dinner parties in jail without Martha. I would have been bored to tears without Ellen's commentaries at Walt Disney World on one of the rides.

Where, oh where, would we be without some of these other top 100 greatest Americans? Who's your favorite and why?

Bachelorette Parties

2005-05-31T10:46:00.000-07:00

As tradition would have it, every man and woman should have a last "Hurrah!" before that walk down that looooong aisle. The 2005 version of the bachelorette party is definitely not your mother's party. Some girls will have strippers. Some will have spa days. Others will just have a drunken night on the town. Every year, I am obliged to attend at least 1-3 of these rites of passage. As one of my friends would say, it's a "roving cock tease"!

I guess some guys could call it a roving cock tease....I think it's more akin to a wolf pack. The girls travel in packs of usually at least 6 or more. There is one leader, i.e., the bachelorette. There is a pecking order from the maid of honor to the bridesmaids to the other peripheral girlfriends or siblings. They will circle their prey (good-looking guys who are drunk) to get it excited and scared at the same time. They attack their prey by asking him to buy a blowjob shot or do a body shot off the pack leader. They move on to the next prey.

Either way you look at it, it's a bunch of drunk girls acting like college kids again. What could be better than that???

Paris Hilton and Carl's Jr.

2005-05-25T08:07:00.000-07:00

Most women I talk to do not think Paris is attractive. Charlize Theron? Yes. Katherine Zeta-Jones? Yes. Jennifer Garner? Yes. But, Paris Hilton? She's skanky. Yes, she has a great body, I'll give you that. But, her face looks like a cross between a horse and an inbred something or other. She's a walking STD of some sort....guaranteed. Why do guys find her appealing? She's gross....like Tara Reid.

Telegrams to text messaging

2005-05-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or is it ironic that we have "advanced" in technology and yet, it seems as though we have regressed? Case in point is the telegram. Isn't text messaging essentially a modern version of the telegram? Wasn't the telephone the technological advancement, more superior than the telegram? What happened?

I think it's funny when people email or text message instead of picking up the phone. Now, I'm not saying that I'm not a hugely addicted computer junkie myself (my blog is the perfect example of this), BUT I would rather call someone than email. Sound travels a lot faster than 80wpm. Yes, even the quickest hands in the world just aren't fast enough to travel at the speed of sound.

There are certainly instances where you need to utilize text messaging. For example, if you are studying in a crowded coffeehouse, it would be more appropriate to text message instead of yakking away on the clamshell. Another example would be if you were in a meeting. Most meetings are boring and require very little thought so why not engage in silly banter via text?

When does texting get used inappropriately? When someone is at home and decides that their internal turmoil should be transmitted via text. Hey, I'm all for open communication, but shouldn't that kind of stuff be done in person or at least via phone??

***Look out for my future diatribe on the novelties of the newer phones that have features that are really, truly unnecessary.

Human cloning

2005-05-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

South Koreans have been busy in the laboratory as of late. They are cloning humans!! Again!! Now, for those of you who don't know what cloning is, let me tell you that it is not like the movie "Multiplicity". The process of cloning takes place by extracting stem cells from young embryos. Personally, it would be more fun if cloning was indeed like "Multiplicity". I think this world would be a better place if I made droves of clones of myself. Okay, on second thought, that would be a very scary thing. Can you imagine there being more than one of me??? Even I shudder at the very thought....

Cloning is so reminiscent of Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World". Before we know it, we will all be born in laboratories and divided into different castes, created specifically for certain tasks. I don't know about you, but my genes are going to be implemented into the Alpha Plus caste, thank you very much.

I am looking forward to the day when we can live in a utopian society of blissfully unaware people who live their daily lives the way they do because they don't know any better. Hmmm...sounds like society right now. Funny that we don't consider it utopian and yet, people go about their days like trained mice which was Huxley's utopian society. Foreshadowing can be an eerie feeling, especially when it applies to real life situations.

Fun in Yosemite

2005-05-20T08:30:00.000-07:00

The weather forecast said that there is a 20% chance of rain on Thurs., 5/19/05. We were supposed to have clear skies. We were supposed to be dry. We were supposed to be prepared. Apparently, the weatherman was wrong. That's odd....
Well, my three "J" engineering friends and I went to Yosemite on Sunday. We set up camp and cozied up in our tents. We went to sleep to the steady beat of rainfall on our tents. We woke up to the steady beat of rainfall on our tents....and a pool of water. Who would have thought that a Therm-a-Rest would become a floatation device?

Bad idea: Camping in the rain.
Worse idea: Camping in the rain with only one tarp for two tents.

Bad idea: Driving into Yosemite Valley for breakfast.
Worse idea: Driving into Yosemite Valley for breakfast when two different intersections were already flooded.

Bad idea: Asking if the roads will be open soon.
Worse idea: Asking if the roads will be open soon, just as another downpour hits.

Bad idea: Drinking beer at 5pm after realizing we were stranded for sure.
Worse idea: Drinking beer at 5pm, when we should have started at 11am, when we were first told we were stranded in the valley.

Bad idea: Sleeping in a tent bungalow in Curry Village.
Worse idea: Sleeping in a tent bungalow in Curry Village, overrun by loud high school kids from San Diego.

Where the hell is Bruingirl???

2005-05-12T08:57:00.000-07:00

She's been in rehab since returning from Costa Rica. Her blood alcohol level actually dropped off while in Costa Rica because she was too busy hiking, surfing, and swimming that there was no time to consume too many alcoholic beverages. Besides, she was in paradise so there really was no need to kill brain cells. Now that the regular work week has set in again, she needed to top off her blood alcohol levels. Ahhh....that's better....
Quick recap of the past couple of weeks: Food & Wine Festival benefitting a charity; Cinco de Mayo and one too many tequila shots; Ben Lee concert; San Diego; Mother's Day; driving all over Southern California.
Well, that's my quick blurb for the day as I roll up my sleeves and try my hand at this whole "work" thing again....
Yeah, I know, I should be back in the game after being back 2 wks, but I'm going to Yosemite on Sunday night....yup, another vacation. My life sucks....

Back to Reality

2005-04-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

Reality stinks. It really does. I had been in a tropical paradise until yesterday. That paradise is known as Costa Rica. I was there from the 21st until late Tues. night. As I sit here in my office, in front of a computer, I am wondering why I am here. Why am I not in Costa Rica, on the beach? Keeping up with the Joneses has never seemed as asinine as it does now. We are a society of overstimulated and overworked individuals. There is too much information readily available and too much of an obsession to improve the bottom line. Whatever happened to enjoying life for what it is?
Am I turning into a hippie? CA is probably reading this disapprovingly. Costa Rica (CR) is the most beautiful country! The variety of topography in one tiny country is truly amazing! We went from watching an active volcano erupt to traversing through a tropical rainforest to surfing the beach breaks of Tamarindo. We saw crocodiles, monkeys, iguanas, snakes, bright orange crabs, parakeets, and poisonous frogs. We hiked, surfed, drove, drank, ate, zip-lined, and laughed.
It was an unforgettable adventure in paradise...

Writing a dictionary

2005-04-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

When most people decide they are going to write something, they write a short story or a screenplay or a poem. They might write a biography or an entertaining novel. They might write a cookbook based on the newest diet craze or even a blog about truly insignificant things in life. There are a few exceptions to this "norm" like Mr. Keane. He decided to write a dictionary on modern strategy and tactics. Pretty soon, everyone will be referring to his work as many often do to Sun Tzu and The Art of War.
This got me thinking that instead of wasting my time writing silly blogs, perhaps I should try my hand at getting published. Then, I thought about all the work that it might actually entail and I shut down that thought process immediately. So here I am, back to blogging for all to read. Hopefully, you will learn a thing or two.....don't say I didn't give you anything because I gave you a great salmon recipe (January 2005). Mostly, I just hope you laugh your a** off with at least some of my blogs.

Tax Day

2005-04-15T08:57:00.001-07:00

Have you done your taxes? Do you owe the government money or will they give you money? I am happy to report that I will be getting a refund. CNBC's Sharon Epperson gave a report this morning on how most Americans will be spending their refund. The majority of Americans are planning on paying off debt or saving their money. What is wrong with you people??? That sounds like fiscal responsibility to me and that just sounds a bit too mature for my taste. I am planning on having some fun with my tax refund money. Hey, I worked hard all year...I deserve a little break! What exactly does that entail?

1) Buying $150 worth of bubbles. Who doesn't like bubbles? They even have flavored bubbles so that you can catch it in your mouth and it tastes great!
2) Buying 100 lotto tickets - I might be the lucky winner!!! Although, I must say that most lotto winners are the rejects of society. Hmmmm....I must have a pretty good shot at it then!!
3) Buying a sweet sound system for my sweet ride - it's a 1989 Honda CRX. Oh, and of course, it's all about da rims, baby.... 24" spinners.... it's gonna be bumpin'....
4) Buying the new Sony PSP with every game created for that system.
5) Buying a year supply of 40oz. Old E's....awwww yeah....

Back to my roots

2005-04-11T09:26:00.000-07:00

I left civilization late Friday evening to go back to the country and visit my high school best friend. As some of you may know, I am a redneck hiding in the guise of a cosmopolitan gal. As Kevin and Bean on KROQ would attest, the Inland Empire is the Valley of the dirt people. Yes, I was a "dirt person" at one point and time in my life. We've all heard those jokes by Jeff Foxworthy about "you just might be a redneck if..." Well, the Inland Empire hicks are a slightly different breed...I would know....I'm still one at heart. How does one become an Inland Empire redneck??? Here are some pointers for you "city folks":

1) The one genre of music that everyone can agree upon is country music. Try listening to musicians like Trisha Yearwood, Tim McGraw, Dixie Chicks, Shania Twain, Alan Jackson. Hip-hop/rap will get you shot out here....unless it's Eminem.
2) Don't pave your driveway. Keep it as a dirt driveway. Who needs concrete when you have dirt?
3) Get a big truck. This will help you maneuver over your yard to park your car. It's also handy for off-roading in your neighborhood since not all the roads have been built yet.
4) Smoke cigarettes. This is even better if you're barefoot and pregnant.
5) Gain lots of weight if you're a woman because you need that extra padding for when your husband beats you.
6) Super Wal-Mart is the most exciting thing happening in town so you go to the grand opening! In-N-Out is opening in TWO yrs so that's another exciting thing to look forward to!
7) Check out the 16yr old girls at Wal-Mart....even though you're a 30+ yr old male.
8) Leave beer cans in your front yard, which consists of dirt....of course.
9) Homo sapien? Are you calling me a homosexual???
10) Temecula, CA is considered "the city". What the hell is LA then?

All I can say is that I am glad to be out of the Inland Empire. Although, I must say that there is something charming about the simple lifestyle that is free from all the pretentiousness that is LA and any other major metropolitan areas.

Bar food and sports

2005-04-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

Why is it that whenever you go out to the bars to watch a sporting event that you have to consume large quantities of fried foods? I guess it just tastes better. Who would want to watch a basketball game while drinking a glass of 2002 Cakebread cabernet (just recently released) and dining on a soy-glazed salmon with wasabi mashed potatoes? See how funny that sounds? As much as I love a good wine and good food, there is nothing better than buffalo wings and cheap American beer (Miller Light) while watching UNC beat the "barely fightin" Illini!
There's just something about watching a sporting event that requires one to consume the most unpretentious food available. No matter how "healthy" I'm trying to be, it goes out the window when I'm sitting down to watch a game. Fried mozzarella sticks, jalapeno poppers, chicken strips, fries, fried shrimp, and buffalo wings all call my name when I am at a sports bar. For people on their "diets" and refuse to eat this stuff while watching a game - you're a wuss. Plain and simple. Luckily, I don't have too many friends like this.
The nice thing about bar food is that it is pretty much the same everywhere. It doesn't matter if you're in the middle of Texas or in L.A. Bar food is bar food, if it's a real sports bar. We know there are faux sports bars in L.A., but those don't count. They cater to people who want to pretend like they know what a free throw shot is, but they really don't. They're at the bar for the social aspect of it more than anything.
My question is: When will the Bruins win another NCAA basketball championship instead of floundering helplessly in the first round of the dance??

Sushi - Benihana style

2005-03-31T11:32:00.000-08:00

The bastardization of sushi at places like Benihana must make the Japanese feel like becoming kamikazes again. We ordered the crunchy roll which should have been named the fried tempura roll because that's what it was. They had crumbled pieces of tempura all over the rolls so that you had to dig through the 2" layer of tempura to find the rolls. Not only that, some sort of a sweet sauce was poured all over the rolls as well. It must have been 100 calories per roll!

Chain restaurants bother me. For a weekday lunch, I suppose it's acceptable. I mean, seriously, when was the last time you went to an Outback Steakhouse and got a meal that was actually a portion meant for one person? What about Cheesecake Factory? Chili's? Claim Jumper? All of these restaurants have one thing in common - HUGE portions. These places cater to the needs of the overweight people who want their "money's worth" of food. That is just disgusting.

Here's an idea: charge people less money for less food! We don't want to see them shoveling a steak sandwich that is the size of a child's head into their mouths anyway!

Networking

2005-03-30T09:46:00.000-08:00

I attended a networking event last night in Santa Monica. Where do I begin to describe the types of people that were there? I don't know if this is how it is in other cities and states, but I got to meet a hypnotherapist, a Feng Shui consultant, a restaurant consultant, a life coach, and a body sculptor. It sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke...

I tried to keep an open mind as I engaged in conversation with these people. Perhaps they would be interested in a SEP-IRA? Perhaps they would be interested in buying some stocks?

My biggest questions was: How do these people earn a living? I mean, seriously, a hypnotherapist? I've seen those hypnotherapist shows where people are hypnotized and end up doing silly things, but in a corporate environment? I am going to hypnotize you and order you to promote me to CEO. I am also going to order you to give me a 400% pay raise. Actually, it doesn't sound like a bad idea.....

My new career path? I am going to be a hypnotherapeutic financial advisor. "You want to buy those stocks. You want to give me more of your money to manage...."

LA Traffic

2005-03-28T08:53:00.000-08:00

I had the day off of work on Friday, due to the Easter holiday weekend. I drove up the coast to Malibu to meet up with a friend for lunch and had to drive back to the Southbay, where I reside. They say that Malibu is 12 miles of beautiful coastal scenery, but after sitting in heavy traffic for over an hour, I couldn't care less about the "beautiful Pacific Ocean crashing into the rugged cliffs of Malibu". I love nothing more than sitting in a car and traveling 15 miles over the course of 2 hours. I had nothing better to do so why not sit in a car?
I think I spent half of my day off sitting in traffic. This is why I love LA so much! You are given the opportunity to catch up with all of your friends AND acquaintances while driving from point A to point B. Not only that, you get to listen to your favorite songs played over and over again on the radio. You can also learn the art of patience as idiotic people weave in and out of the two lane highway and get absolutely nowhere.

Asparagus

2005-03-23T10:51:00.000-08:00

In order to satiate our apres-martini hunger, we decided to venture over to the new restaurant, Beechwood. It stands where Menemsha once stood and looks almost the same except that the entrance is now on the east side of the building instead of the westside. The menu is definitely different though.
We decided to order several different appetizers, one of which included grilled asparagus with lettuce. The asparagus numbered about 10 at the most and we're not talking about the gigantic ones that you get at Lawry's as a side dish. We're talking about tiny, little, organic asparagus that is probably as thin as Calista Flockhart. It was marinated and grilled to perfection on a bed of everyday lettuce. It was very delicious, but worth $10??? I hardly think so!
They probably got the little things at the local farmers market for $2/lb. I know they did! Talk about a profit margin on that little side dish!

Frozen software applications

2005-03-22T11:33:00.000-08:00

So, I'm trying to open an Excel spreadsheet that I have been working on all morning. It doesn't want to open. I click on the icon and I get an hourglass. I hate getting the hourglass, especially when it lasts the whole hour!!
As much as I would like to blame myself for being unproductive, I really must point the finger at computer software applications that are troublesome. How can I do any work when the applications I need do not want to open? Blogger works perfectly fine, but when I try to run Act or Excel? I get the stupid hourglass!!!
Now my Advantage quote screen is frozen. As a stockbroker, don't you think having access to stock quotes would be an important part of my J-O-B??? I hate these finicky machines that we rely upon. One minute they are the best thing since sliced bread and the next, you want to hurl it out the window. Granted the windows are made such that they are shatterproof and stuff, but it is a nice thought....
Tech support? What tech support?? Tech support only knows how to tell you to hit "ctrl, alt, del". Oh, and they know how to do "remote computing" so that they can clean my cookies. I'll clean my own cookies, thank you very much!!!!

March Madness

2005-03-20T23:12:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the year again when schools are matched up against one another in the hopes of clenching the NCAA basketball championship title. I can tell you from personal experience that there is nothing quite like the exhilarating feeling of winning a national title while being a student! :) GO BRUINS!! :)
So we have finished two rounds and there were some upsets that hurt my brackets, like Wake Forest. Thank goodness I didn't have them going all the way like some of the other guys in my office. My national champion team is still in the game!
Has anyone ever noticed how it's always the girl in the office who doesn't even know what a free throw shot is that wins the pool? Every year, in my office, a girl wins. And it's always a girl who couldn't give a damn about basketball! Why is that?

Post St. Patrick's Day

2005-03-18T10:59:00.000-08:00

It's a good thing that I don't get hangovers because I would be hurting right now if I did. Irish car bombs have resurfaced into my life, as of late. What is an Irish car bomb? It's a half pint of Guinness and you drop a shot that is half kahlua and half Bailey's into it and drink it as fast as possible. It tastes like a chocolate shake. Yummy!
Everyone wore green and claimed to have Irish heritage in them last night. If they didn't, there was surely a guy who would have asked if they would like some Irish in them.
Isn't it funny how most holidays revolve around drinking? Not just that, but there's always a particular drink associated with said holiday! Of course, we all know and love the usual drinking holidays like:

New Year's Eve = Champagne
St. Patrick's Day = Irish car bombs, Guinness, green beer
Cinco de Mayo = Corona, tequila, Dos Equis, margarita
4th of July = Beer
Christmas = Eggnog and brandy, hot toddies

We need more officially recognized drinking holidays!

Watching a sunrise

2005-03-16T06:13:00.000-08:00

Everyone should wake up early enough to watch the sun rise at least once in their lifetime, if not several times. There is nothing more refreshing and peaceful than watching the sunrise over the mountains and hills. Of course, this whole experience is a little bit different if you are doing it from your office. I don't know about you, but watching the sunrise from my office just doesn't have the same effect of tranquility.
Waking up early enough on a weekday to see the sunrise from work is not my idea of fun. Everyone else is sleeping peacefully, but not me. I'm already at work. What the hell??? Damn the stock market opening at 6:30am PST! At least I'm not in Hawaii. I would have to come into work at 4:30am or something. Now that would be my idea of a good time!
What we need is for the PSE (Pacific Stock Exchange) to become the major exchange, not the NYSE. Why must New York be the hub of all financial activity that is deemed necessary and worthy? Los Angeles is as good a place as any, and so is San Francisco. We have better food, better weather, better topography, better looking people, and most importantly, without the state of CA, the rest of the country's GDP would be highly depressed (CA would be the 6th richest nation if we were a sovereign entity). New Yorkers think that they are so much smarter, but if they really are, why are they still in New York???

I just want to crawl back into bed....

Trader Joe's

2005-03-14T23:21:00.000-08:00

Do you ever go to the grocery store and wonder how you could have spent that much and why you spent so much time in there? I have a tendency to spend entire afternoons, split between Costco and Trader Joe's. Today was a TJ day. I am the perfect candidate for marketing studies. A strategically placed display will most definitely sell me. Why do you think I got those Altoids gum, white tea iced tea, marinara sauce, and fruit strips?? I admit it, I'm a sucker for displays that catch my eye. I'm an impulse buyer, especially at TJs. There's just something about TJs that makes you want to buy everything in the store...maybe it's the Hawaiian shirts or the fact that most of the things they sell is organic/natural.
I hate being an impulse buyer. I feel like a puppet to the marketing gods that set up the displays so cleverly. I play right into their plans. I even bought the flowers that were in the front of the store because they were only $0.99. Did I need them? No. But they were cheap and they "lighten the room with springtime blossoms."

So Cal Livin'

2005-03-13T21:38:00.000-08:00

Sunset in the marina.
Life in Southern California probably doesn't get any better than this. Snowboarding in a thin long-sleeved top one day and sailing in heavy duty sweatshirts the next day. Why and how can anyone live anywhere else but here?
Have you ever been on a boat for so long that when you're back on land, you still feel the rocking? Well, that's me right about now. After a 7hr sailing day, all I can feel right now is the rocking...and the occasional "Kelp off starboard!" ringing in my ear still.
Between the sun and snow yesterday, and the UVA/UVB rays that still pierce through the marine layer, I have a nice set of raccoon eyes going right now. I had SPF30 on, but that didn't help enough. What's the point of putting on sunscreen when you still get burned??? I guess it lessens the severity, but my face still looks like a nocturnal animal that scrounges for food in trashcans.

2005-03-13T21:35:00.000-08:00

Chillin' in the snow.

Sleeping with a colleague

2005-03-08T16:05:00.000-08:00

The CEO of Boeing got fired yesterday for being romantically (euphemism for: having sex with) involved with a Boeing executive. She did not report directly to him (except maybe in the bedroom), nor was her career or salary affected in any way by their consensual (funny how the word "sensual" is a part of that word) relationship. CNBC had a poll going this morning and 53% think he was wrongly fired and 47% think the Board did the right thing by firing the guy.

It's ironic how Stonecipher came out of retirement to help Boeing recover from previous scandals, only to find himself in the middle of one. The key to any extramarital affair is to keep it on the down-low. Apparently, he didn't know how to do that too well because someone found out and sent in an anonymous tip. I wonder how much that anonymous tipper got paid for that little tidbit of info!

If you were sleeping with a co-worker, which part of the office would you have sex with him/her first? Conference room? Personal office/cubicle? Copier room? Bathroom? Breakroom? Reception area? Your assistant's desk? All of the above? So many choices....

2005-03-07T23:24:00.000-08:00

The most beautiful baby girl!

Bragging rights

2005-03-07T11:17:00.000-08:00

KEP was born on 3/6/05 at 8:34pm PST, weighing 6lbs. 9oz. and 18.5inches long. I am the proud auntie (not biological though) of this beautiful baby girl who is the daughter of my best friend, HP. Now most of you would agree that newborn babies are kinda funky looking. They are all red and scrunched up. They look like alien creatures, for the most part.
Based on my objective opinion of KEP, she is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen! She is just gorgeous! She is healthy and just the most perfect creation! Needless to say, this little girl is going to be spoiled beyond belief! She has so many adoring aunties and uncles, as well as an extended family of grandparents and even great-grandparents!
As sarcastic as I am, this is the one blog where I am just gushing about KEP! There's really nothing more special than holding your "niece" who is 15 minutes old and watching her look around at the new world before her.
Right now, she has curly brown hair and dark blue eyes. Hopefully, the eyes will stay that way. Mom and dad are both carriers of the blue eye genes so I guess only time will tell.

Fancy titles

2005-03-02T21:18:00.000-08:00

So, I have to study for an exam for work. It's so that I can have a fancy title after my name. Who doesn't like fancy titles? Some people like to have several titles after their name. Do you think this is excessive: John Doe, MBA, JD, MD, PhD, CFA, CFP, CLU, CPA, ChFC. I'm sure there's someone out there with just that many titles.
Hey, don't get me wrong. I'm all for getting as many advanced degrees as is humanly possible, but you have to stop and think sometimes...what does it all mean and does it really equal a bigger paycheck?
Either way, I have to study again, after a brief hiatus during "winter break". I didn't realize that there was any significance in an indifference curve that's been blended with a utility curve. WTF???? Yeah, exactly....
Square root of sigma squared times your mom!!!!

[Can you tell that my brain is very disagreeable with all this studying?? My college friends all know this about me though...]

Michael Jackson

2005-03-01T15:30:00.000-08:00

Michael is getting a lot of publicity these days with the trial going on about his molesting little boys at his Neverland Ranch....oh wait, he hasn't been convicted yet. What I meant was the alleged accusations of Michael molesting little boys....
Considering that he is constantly in the news now, I thought it would be most appropriate to pay homage to the man who brought us "Thriller" [full length Thriller video in Legos and Play-Doh!] via Homeroom.

What age do you act?

2005-03-01T14:53:00.000-08:00

What age do you act?

Getting delirious

2005-03-01T01:41:00.000-08:00

I have been awake for way too long. I had a 15hr work day today and it is now 1:40am. I am taking a break before I do something productive again.
Why do we work such long hours? Who established the 40hr work week and why do we not observe it? I would be happy working just 40hrs/wk. Of course, I would probably have to clock in and out which would not be my idea of fun.
I'm preparing for a presentation that I will be giving tomorrow. I'm beginning to feel like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Now I know why I'm not in investment banking.
I would like to propose four 10hr days and 3 day weekends. I think we would be a more productive society if we can all adhere to this. Who's going to join me???

The Oscars, of course

2005-02-28T17:40:00.000-08:00

As much as I love good movies and good acting, I just can't get as excited as some people do about the Oscars. Maybe it's because I grew up near LA. Maybe it's because I'm cynical. Who knows why? I guess I like living my life more than I like to live vicariously through other people...then again, that's just me...

Some people even throw Oscar watching parties! Yay! I'm going to have people over to watch the Oscars and ooh and aahh over all the celebrities who are like demigods. That's demi as in partly, not demi as in Demi Moore. I can serve various crudites and champagne.

I would love nothing more than engaging my Sunday evening with several hours of a mind-numbing awards ceremony. I always love all the anticipation these networks build into the ceremony...."and the best picture award goes to....." [drum roll]

How many different categories do we need to have anyway? Best animated short film? Best animated feature film? Best musical score as opposed to a best musical song? Why not include best hairstyle? They have costume design and makeup, so why not hair? I understand that we have to recognize all the people who work behind the scenes so why not include "best camera man"? What about "best caterer" and "best personal assistant" and "best community that had to deal with the shooting day in and day out for several weeks"? If we really want to recognize all those people who work behind the scenes, we should include them all, not just a few categories!

Although, I must say that I am not displeased with this year's winners...and that's a wrap! Sorry, had to do that.... ;-)

Contemplating life...

2005-02-25T23:50:00.000-08:00

Contemplating life...eat bugs or fruit??

Need a date??

2005-02-24T12:25:00.000-08:00

Forget match.com or eharmony.com! If you are really looking for the true love of your life, no need to look further....

The Pampered Prisoner via David.

Attached vs. detached earlobes

2005-02-23T12:49:00.000-08:00

MA and I were having a discussion last night about the difference between attached earlobes and detached earlobes. She apparently is very discriminatory against attached earlobes. They are disturbing to her. She shudders at the sight of them. It made me wonder if she would have been my friend if I had attached earlobes. She stated that she would probably still be friends with me, but would have a hard time keeping her eyes off my lobes.
Now I'm obsessed with earlobes. I find myself looking at everyone's ears now. I'm curious as to whether or not I'm a carrier of the attached earlobe gene. I'm sure I am. I guess there are worse genes to carry around - like sickle cell anemia or something. Then again, I'm not African American so I don't really have to worry about that.
Genes are funny things like that. Sometimes you get a recessive gene that presents itself out of nowhere and other times, it's all about the dominant genes. I'm all dominant except for my elbows. I have double jointed elbows. Weird, huh?

Hydroplaning is fun!

2005-02-21T21:42:00.000-08:00

Southern California has received 3 times the average annual amount of precipitation in the past 4 months! We've had about 30 inches of rain since October 2004. We are currently in the middle of another big storm and I'm sure we've gotten another 10 inches in the past 4 days. Driving on the freeways with crazy drivers is bad enough, but when you add 30-40 inches of rain, you never want to get on the road again!
It has been raining non-stop for the past 4 days and there is a lot of water out there. As we drove back from Mammoth last night, we must have passed a flooded sign every mile or so. What is hydroplaning? It's when your car is basically gliding over the water because there is no traction. One would think that in a 4WD SUV, this would not be a huge problem. Well, apparently, when the water levels are about 1-2ft deep, it doesn't matter what kind of car you drive. You need a boat!
Who needs roller coasters when you can get cheap thrills from hydroplaning all over the place and fearing a head-on collision???

Epic conditions at Mammoth

2005-02-20T22:51:00.000-08:00

With all this unusually high rainfall that we've had in Southern California, it can only mean one thing. You guessed it! SNOW!!! Lots of it! We're talking 2ft of snow every 24hrs! Soft, powdery snow that makes it really hard to walk through when it is waist high!
We left all the miserable, rain soaked, congested freeways of L.A. to be greeted with beautiful, fresh snow and semi-clear skies!
Sat. morning, we were greeted with intermittent sunlight and a dusting of snow all day long. The top of the mountain was beautiful at 27 degrees with 10-30mph winds! Of course, it didn't stay that nice all day which is why the top got shut down around noon, but we had already "been there, done that...." We spent the afternoon on the fun runs around Goldrush Express and Chair 8. The conditions were truly epic and something that I don't think I'll ever see in my lifetime again. As EP would say "If I had died and gone to heaven and was told that I can create the most desirable conditions to board in, this is it!" I love Mammoth.
Ever notice how snowboarders and surfers mingle with the same crowd? The speech pattern is very similar as well. Of course, it could be that most of them are stoners and that could have something to do with the way people talk.
"Hey man, can you take out the trash?"
"Sure, no problem, bro."
"Hey bro, can you hand me my goggles?"
"Sure, dude."
I think that boarding all day and then watching "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" makes you realize the similarities between the two crowds more than ever.

Happy Post Valentine's Day

2005-02-15T14:56:00.000-08:00

I'm sure there were plenty of people out there blogging on Valentine's Day. I like being different (and besides, I was busy) so I thought I would pen a haiku to the day AFTER Valentine's Day. The 15th of February just doesn't get enough love. It's an anti-climactic day.

Post Valentine's Day
No one really cares or knows
Yearns for attention.

Health Risk Assessment

2005-02-11T08:55:00.000-08:00

My company has recently partnered up with the Mayo Clinic to "provide interactive healthy living for its employees". Basically, this means that my company is trying to make it into Fortune's "100 Best Companies to Work For" for next year since we didn't make it for 2004. I wonder why??? (comments from the peanut gallery has been suppressed)
I decided to take the health risk assessment since we get a $100 credit towards our health insurance premium! Isn't it funny that we live in a society where a company has to lure its employees with money to convince us that it's in our best interest to assess our own health??

The first thing that this assessment asks about is alcohol use. Hmmm...I think I failed that one miserably. Apparently, I might have a drinking problem. I guess waking up and having to make myself a COCKtail (it is the year of the rooster) was construed as a sign of alcoholism.
The next part asks about my exercise habits. I thought that walking to my car and back was enough exercise? That damn test claims that I need more exercise! How does it know whether I walk at a 3mph pace or a 8mph pace?? Did they take that into consideration???
It then proceeds to ask about my cholestrol level and my eating habits. Whatever happened to the good 'ol American diet of meat and potatoes daily??? Who needs vegetables and fruits? Homo sapiens have incisors for ripping meat, silly!
Do you know your triglyceride level? I certainly didn't because I'm not a doctor!!! Why would this test ask questions that my doctor would know?

After spending 10 minutes answering cookie cutter questions with cookie cutter answers, I feel so much more confident about my physical health! I can move forward knowing that I am reasonably healthy enough to continue my daily existence without changing a single thing!

Phantom fundraisers

2005-02-09T21:00:00.000-08:00

I went to my Sandpipers meeting the other day and we had a roundtable discussion. One of the things that was brought up was the idea of having phantom fundraisers. What is a phantom fundraiser, you ask? Well, I'm glad that you did! I was wondering the same thing!
Basically, you hold a phantom event. That's right, an event that doesn't exist. For example, we could hold a phantom wine tasting event where tickets are $100/person. This way, people get to donate money to an organization they support without the stress of attending the event and our non-profit organization would get the money to support our causes without any overhead costs.
Now, is it just me or is this totally a silly idea? Why not just ask people for monetary donations without going into this whole creative theme of having a phantom wine tasting? I guess if there was no phantom event, the creative people in the organization, who have too much time on their hands, would have nothing to do. This way, they get to create a whole committee and brainstorm fun ideas for phantom events:

1) Phantom Benefit Concert - Tickets for this event will be $400/person with Ticketmaster charges of $1000/person.
2) Phantom Beer & Wine Tasting - You still wake up with a hangover the next morning.
3) Phantom Golf Tournament - Everyone will get a fancy certificate indicating their score of 69.
4) Phantom Texas Hold 'Em Tournament - Who needs poker night or Vegas when you can "play" in a phantom tournament?
5) Phantom Masquerade Ball - All dressed up with no place to go has never held more true.
6) Phantom Art Gallery Exhibit - You can tell all your friends about the up-and-coming new artist whose work is only being shown to a select few...like the people that reside in your head.
7) Phantom Run for Charity - You get to tell your doctor that you ran in a 10K so your heart is obviously feeling better.
8) Phantom Garage Sale - All that junk that you had in your garage that you wanted to get rid of is still sitting in your garage.
9) Phantom Fashion Show - Includes the newest fashion trend, a la Tara Reid at P-Diddy's Party.
10) Phantom Benefit Dinner - You didn't really need all those calories anyway...

Hey, come to think of it...let's just all have phantom lives. Maybe we can have phantom jobs where we make phantom income and buy phantom clothes with phantom money. I wonder how that would all work???

Running a 10K

2005-02-07T22:00:00.000-08:00

Every year, the city of Redondo Beach is host to one of the largest SuperBowl Sunday 10Ks in the state of California, if not the entire country. About 9,000 people come to participate in this annual ritual of starting the day with a healthy run that ends with a beer garden, sponsored by Asahi beer. Yes, they give you FREE BEER! How often does that happen? For $23, you get to run in a fun 10K, get a long-sleeve shirt, and 2 beers!
A group of my friends and I decided to run in the 10K this year. Just in case you didn't know, a 10K = 6.2 miles (hey, this way you don't have to google 10K to see how far that is). I don't know about you, but running is something for which you train...at least that's the "normal" way of thinking. Most people start to train about 1-2 months before a race and some people start before that, depending on their fitness level. Most people prepare for a race by carbo-loading the night before. Most people get a good night's rest.
Well, as many of you know, I'm not a "normal" person and I have found the key to running a 10K without any difficulties! Here are some tips which I found to be particularly helpful this past weekend:
1) Run around ragged all day, the day before the race.
2) Start drinking at 6pm the night before so that by 1am of race day, you can't tell your left from your right.
3) Smoke whatever you can....tobacco, 420, crack cocaine if you must....smoke is so good for your lungs!
4) Carbo-load....by eating buffalo wings, quesadillas, and other fried foods.
5) Get 4 hrs of drunken sleep and hope that you don't sleep through the alarm.

Now get out there and run that race!!!

Meat (meet?) market

2005-02-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

No, it is not a carniceria. Although, if you were in a Spanish speaking country, that's how you would translate it.
I'm talking about my gym - the Spectrum Club. First of all, Manhattan Beach tends to be a magnet for some of the most attractive people in all of L.A.! I've never seen so many MILFs in my life!! What would be the male equivalent? DILF? Well, there are plenty of those as well! ;-)
I don't know about you, but I like going to the gym to WORK OUT. Isn't that the main purpose of a gym anyway? Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE my gym! It is a beautiful place that is over 100,000 square feet in size with a locker room that looks like Burke Williams spa! We even have a bar, clothing store, and massage/facials day spa on-site. Yes, it's a pretty penny, but I wouldn't change gyms for the world!
I was on the treadmill the other day and a girl was on the elliptical machine in front of me. A good looking guy comes up and gets on the one next to her and before you know it - we have Cupid shooting an arrow. I guess if you're going to meet someone, you might as well meet them at the gym instead of the bars because at least you're going to remember what they look like the next morning.

Iraqi election

2005-02-01T08:52:00.000-08:00

According to Chuck Henry, the co-anchor for channel 4 news in the Los Angeles area, there was a "historical erection in Iraq". This happened last night so I'm just waiting to see what will be popping up (no pun intended) on the Internet on this in the next 24-48 hrs. Has that ever happened to you? You intended to say one thing, but a different word pops out of your mouth before you have time to correct yourself? Embarrassing for the person who uses the wrong word, but it's really funny to those all around! :)

I'm going to get serious here for a bit. Don't worry, it won't last long...

They say that 60% of the Iraqi nationals came out to vote yesterday. That's about the same percentage as we have here in the U.S. Don't you find it sad that we live in a free country where you don't have to watch your back as you go to the polls and yet, people don't take the time out of their day to vote??? We complain if we have to wait in line more than 15 minutes at our polling stations!! The Iraqis were risking their lives by going to the polls. Granted, they have to watch their backs everyday regardless of the election day, but still....

Well, that's my political thought for the day. Who would have thought that I would actually blog about something a bit more profound??? Shh!!! Don't tell anyone!!!

Foosball and Bones

2005-01-31T07:50:00.000-08:00

Ever notice a high correlation between foosball and Tourette's syndrome? Is it just me or do you notice that everyone has Tourette's when playing foosball?
I played offense with a very drunk teammate who played defense. It was quite an intense battle between the two teams. Of course, every other word out of everyone's mouth was a word that would have made your mother cringe. After a few games, we decided to name foosball - Tourette's syndrome foosball. How appropriate.
Next game of the evening: Bones. This is a game of dominoes, for those "not in the know". The thing about this game is that you actually have to think! You have to strategize and add many numbers together. No, you cannot use a calculator! I came in 2nd.
Between foosball and bones, I could have sworn I had transported back to college, except there was Newcastle being drunk instead of Keystone Light.